Thorn's Wedding: Day 2

4:00am. The loudspeaker above the wedding/circus tent wakes me up with some early morning chanting. I was planning on getting up at 5:00am, but this was an unexpected (and unwelcome) early rousing. I laid in bed trying to get a bit more rest before finally getting up a bit before 5:00am.

Just before six the first ceremony of the day began and I believe it was a ceremony blessing ancestors. The ceremony was short and fairly uneventful. Prior to the next ceremony, the groom’s processional, I got to put on the first “fun” outfit of the day: white pants with a bright blue and shiny Chinese-style button-up jacket. With Thorn and the other groomsmen, I posed for a few pictures before heading back down to the living room.

Though it was only 7:30am, about 150 people had gather at and around the house for the groom’s procession. Back in the day, the groom and the bride were from the same village and the groom would, with his family and friends, walk to the bride’s house carrying food and gifts. In modern times though, people gather at the bride’s house with trays of fruit and meat and baskets of flowers and at the designated time, they walk about 200 meters away from the bride’s house before returning back. As the best man, I walked right behind Thorn and his parents, carrying a big basket of flowers. Arriving at the wedding tent, the procession was seated in a rectangular manner, with Thorn and his parents making up one of the short sides and guests seating themselves on the long sides. Phea and her parents then exited from the house to accept the gifts presented to her. I have never seen so much food in one place; it was really unbelievable how much fruit, meat, and pastries were brought to Phea and her family.

By the time this ceremony was over, I had been awake for five hours and I hadn’t eaten anything. I was starving. We had a delicious and spicy pho-like soup for breakfast, with noodles, chicken, mint, chilies, and bean sprouts. After wolfing it down with a Coke – it felt like lunch-time – it was time for more ceremonies.

The knot-tying ceremony (no seriously, that’s what it’s called; I wonder if this is where the expression “tying the knot” comes from…) followed the procession. During this ceremony, thin red (good luck) – strings are tied around the bride and groom’s wrists by family members and close friends, who then bless them. I had the honor of doing both. Though we had just eaten an hour and a half before, it was time for lunch, where, again, Thorn’s father heaped tons of rather unappetizing soup into my bowl. Luckily there was a good amount of rice and beef with green peppers to satisfy. Stuffed and exhausted, I was glad to have a few hours to nap and relax.

A little bit after 3:00pm Shanti arrived after an equally long and uneventful bus ride as me. We went to say hello to “the crew,” and they were almost as excited to see another foreigner as Shanti was to meet Phea. We hung out a bit and snapped a few pictures before going to relax a bit more prior to the big party in the evening.

When I returned to Phea’s house for the wedding reception, it was time for fun outfit number two. Before I got dressed though, I tied Thorn’s dad’s tie for him; it is not unlikely that it was the first time that he ever wore a tie. When it came time for me to get dressed, I kept my black pants on and instead of a shiny blue jacket, I was given a shiny pink one. That’s right folks, I wore a bright pink jacket. I think that it is the first and quite possibly the last time that I will ever wear pink. Shanti, of course, was incredibly amused. After some giggles and some pictures, it was time to begin greeting the guests. As the guests arrive, the groom and groomsmen and the bride and bridesmaids stand opposite each other in front of the entrance to the wedding tent.

For nearly three hours we greeted the nearly 300 guests that arrived, sitting down and standing up like a game of stationary musical chairs. Halfway through the greetings, I went into the house to change into fun outfit number three. I switched back to the white pants, but the pair I tried on was way too tight and way too short. I was given another pair that was a bit longer, but still too tight. The seamstress loosened them a bit, but they were still the tightest pants I had ever worn. Every time I crouched down, I thought a seam was going to rip. Not ideal for the kind of up-and-down greeting I was to be doing for the next ninety minutes. The jacket, also white, was tight as well and I was unable to move my arms far from my side. Though quite uncomfortable, I must admit that I was highly amused by the outfit, which was topped off by a stylish red bowtie.

The greetings were followed immediately by the wedding procession formally entering the party and a number of other traditions. Thorn and Phea were introduced and asked a few questions by the lead singer of the live band. And then I, unexpectedly, was called to the stage to give a speech. Me? I may be the best man, but the only people here that speak English are me, Shanti, and Thorn. What the hell was I going to say and not make a fool of myself? So, I made a fool of myself. “I’m going to speak in English, since my Khmer isn’t very good…” Ouch. I recovered though, to give what I would consider a descent speech, saying that I was honored to be the best man and that I hoped that Thorn and Phea would be as happy for the rest of their lives as they are today. Following a few words from Thorn and Phea’s parents, Thorn and Phea had their first kiss and began the cake cutting ceremony, which starts with an onslaught of confetti and silly string. Thorn then fed cake to Phea’s parents and vice versa.

With all the ceremonies over, it was time for some fun. I changed into fun outfit number four – the too-tight white pants with a neon green jacket and took a number of pictures with Thorn, Phea, and the rest of the wedding party. Looking at my watch I realized it was already 9:30pm. I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch at about noon and needed some food. As soon as I sat down at Thorn’s parents’ table, Phea’s father said that I really needed to get up and dance. I politely declined, saying that I would dance in a few minutes, once I had devoured the cashews, spring rolls, rice, shrimp salad, beef and pork that lay before me. The food was washed down by the glass of beer that Thorn’s dad ensured was full and cold.

In a few minutes he was back, and Shanti and I had no choice but to show off our severely lacking Apsara dancing skills. We lasted a few dances before taking a short break. Then it was back to the dance floor for more Khmer-style dancing. After a few songs, and a slow dance, Shanti and I called it a night. We thanked Thorn and Phea and their parents and, as we headed back to our guesthouse, managed to find a slice of wedding cake. Exhausted, we crashed hard despite the loud wedding music that continued just outside our window.