Road Rage

So I said I wasn't going to write any more blog entries until I got back from Malaysia and believe me, that was my intent. But my commute to work today got my blood boiling. Today is Constitution Day - one of twenty-eight national holidays - and the swearing in for the National Assembly (you may remember that the elections were held in July); although there has been some controversy surrounding the swearing in - the two main opposition parties are planning to boycott what they deem a fraudulent election - there is no reason for the government to be concerned about major incidents.

Without the day off, I didn't realize it was a public holiday and I set off for work at my normal time, at about 7:15. As I headed down Sihanouk Blvd. across Monivong, all seemed normal. When I arrived at Norodom, however, the street ahead of me was blocked, which is not entirely unusual. So I headed south on Norodom to 294, a route I often take to work. Street 294, however, was also closed. So I headed north to Street 240. When I arrived at Street 19, however, the road was blocked in two directions (naturally the two directions that lead to my office): Street 240 heading east towards Sothearos and Street 19 heading south back towards Sihanouk.

I tried to push my bike through, but a military policeman stopped me. In Khmer, I told him that I needed to go to work. He said I would have to wait like everyone else and believe me, there were a lot of people waiting. I said, again in Khmer, that they can't just close all of the major roads in the city. He just looked at me with contempt. Finally, a few motos trickled through the barricade going east on 240 and I was able to push my bicycle past, though as I did so I knoced the MPs helmet off his bike. He pointed to it and not wanting an incident I picked it up, muttering insults under my breath as I peddled off.

Going east on 240, I turned right just before Sothearos to pass in front of Wat Botum and headed back towards Sihanouk. Again I was met by a roadblock, but I was able to convince the police to let me through as my office was now literally across the street. The 1.5km bike ride took me nearly thirty minutes and now, over an hour later the roads are still closed and are likely to remain so for the next several hours.

Why would the government close access to some of the most major thoroughfares in the city? A show of strength? Security? To me, it's quite ironic in that it is displays of force like this - where the best interest of the people is nowhere on the government's radar - that actually make people think about creating security incidents in the first place. It is no wonder that Cambodians, especially those living in Phnom Penh are extremely cynical about everything government-related.

UPDATE: More than three hours after the roads closed, they were reopened at about 10:35am.

UPDATE 2: The roads closed again this afternoon from 1:45pm to 5:15pm. I got stuck by the Independence Monument for fifteen minutes as Excellencies whizzed by in their motorcades of Lexuses and Mercedes. My Cambodian colleagues tell me that it will be like this for the next two days. Unbelievable.

MIA

Sorry I've been so MIA on the posting. I've been absolutely swamped at work for the past couple of weeks - an excuse I can use only so many times. The good news is that things should now be simmering down. The bad news, at least in the short term, is that I'm heading to Malaysia for vacation on Friday for about a week, which means no posting for a little while longer. However, it should mean that I'll have some great stories upon my return. Thanks for bearing with me.

Spoiled Rotten

For those of you that follow this blog regularly and especially for those of you that have come to visit, you know that Shanti and I are not exactly roughing it here and, in fact, we're living quite comfortably. We are by no means near the top of the economic stratosphere, either Cambodian or expat. We have yet to get a Lexus, do not yet own a mansion, and do not sport the same amount of bling as the typical Cambodian elite. Moreover, we do not have a housing allowance or get home leave, we do most of our own cooking, eating out only occasionally, and we clean our own house. That is, until now.

After a month of strenuous work schedules and several weekends of travel, our apartment was an absolute mess. The floors were dusty, the kitchen and bathrooms were grimy, and things were just generally in disorder. Expecting our busy schedules continue over the next several months and not wanting to live in filth any longer, we caved and hired some cleaning help. Although we felt guilty about getting someone else to do our dirty work for us, we saw it as an opportunity to provide our wonderful tuk-tuk driver - Red, who I've mentioned before - and his family a bit more money.

This past Sunday morning, Red's wife and daughter and one of their neighbors came over. Over a period of about five hours, they did the most thorough cleaning this apartment has probably ever seen. They did everything from the basics - floors and bathrooms - to the minute - taking apart and cleaning our electric fans - to my least favorite task - ironing my pants and shirts. As guilty as I felt about having someone else clean our apartment for us, they got it much cleaner than we ever would have been able. It's also possible to think about it in terms of helping Red's daughter, an exceedingly bright young Cambodian, save some additional money so that she might have the opportunity to go to college. Regardless, I think it's a scenario in which everyone wins. Or at least that's what I'm going to tell myself as we get spoiled rotten.

Odd Occurrences

This past Friday marked a string of bizarre incidents which I feel are worthy of sharing. First, on Friday morning I got sick. It doesn't sound that odd, I know, but, as many of you know, I pride myself on having a god-like immune system. A cough and stuffy nose were soon accompanied by a fever, headache, body aches, and nausea. I managed to last through the entire work day, but spent the entire weekend in bed with all of the above symptoms, each staying with me through Monday morning despite medication.

Now I don't mean to imply that when I get sick, things get wacky, but weird things were definitely happening on Friday afternoon. At around 3:30 as the monsoon rain clouds formed in the sky, I looked out my office window - with a pretty good view of downtown Phnom Penh I might add - and noticed a small funnel dropping partly from the clouds toward the ground. Although the funnel remained at least 100 feet off the ground while it lasted, it was quite surreal. From what I know and have heard, Phnom Penh does not experience regular tornadoes. The funnel floated in the sky for about half an hour and then disappeared. Unfortunately, I did not have my camera with me at work to capture it.

Shortly after the funnel incident and with my ailments seemingly getting worse, I headed home. As usual, I unlocked my bicycle in the parking lot and started riding out of the main entrance to the Phnom Penh Center office building complex. I have a pretty good relationship with all of the security guards that man the small motorbike parking lot as well as the ticket booth for cars - they usually smile at me, ask me how I'm doing, and poke fun at the fact that I ride around on a bicycle. As I biked by on Friday, however, the three guards by the ticket booth jumped back from their chairs in three different directions. I stopped and couldn't help but giggle at how ridiculous - and well-coordinated - their leaps had been. It was not until I stopped that I noticed a long and slender neon green snake slithering up one of the guard's motos. Luckily no one was bitten.

Quote for the Day

At Physique Club in the Cambodiana Hotel a new list of rules and regulations has been prominently posted. I found one of the rules particularly humorous:

"Please use deodorize if necessary. (Foul body odor is offensive)."

I can't say I disagree, but I am very curious as to how this will be enforced.

A Fish "Massage"

This past Sunday we headed for another of Phnom Penh's bizarre offerings: a fish "massage." Popular in Malaysia, recently opened in the Washington, DC area and, oddly enough, of Turkish origin, the fish massage entails sticking your feet into a pool with several hundred garra rufa fish or "doctor fish" which nibble at your dead skin, essentially giving you a pedicure. We knew of several people who had been before - a few in Malaysia and a few in Phnom Penh - each of which found the experience worthwhile.

So it was on Sunday morning that we headed to Monorom Professional Massage with a group of five other friends. We were welcomed by a staff of several and ushered into a unisex changing room. Once inside, we were given lockers and issued our outfits. The girls were given bike shorts and sports bras and the guys were given incredibly small and tight bike shorts. The only time I'd ever worn something so tight was when I was too young to dress myself and was issued a Speedo as a bathing suit by my parents. In addition to our "swim" gear, we were given silk robes and shorts which made me feel as if I were prepping for a kickboxing fight.

Once changed we were shown into a small chamber with what looked like a ten person hot tub. We removed our silk robe and shorts and, one by one, we crawled into the pool so that we were sitting at ground level with our legs out straight. The doctor fish immediately flocked to our feet and began nibbling at our callouses and dead skin. It tickled tremendously. To ease the tension a bit and help us relax, Wes and Savin mixed champagne and sugar cane juice cocktails and turned on their iPod docking station. After a few minutes of uncomfortable ticklishness, we settled in for a half hour of munching.

I'm not sure that I can say that it was relaxing, but it was certainly a unique and enjoyable experience. Throughout the process, the fish continued to nibble and did not seem to be satiated even when we left. During our time in the pool, they did make more room in their bellies so to speak, relieving themselves in the pool and revealing what looked like miniature onion strings. After a half an hour though, my feet and the other areas in which I got attention from the doctor fish - hands, legs, even chest - were indeed much softer. Putting our silk robes back on, we hit the showers and changed out of our hot pants and back into our clothes.

I can say quite confidently that I never thought that I was going to pay to have my feet nibbled by fish. But I can also say quite confidently that I have come to expect the unexpected. For $5, it was certainly a worthwhile experience (I wouldn't shell out the $50 they're asking for for the same amount of time at the spa in DC) and one that I will repeat with visitors to Phnom Penh.

The Chinese Noodle Restaurant

On Monivong, four blocks south of Sihanouk lies a nondescript restaurant with a red and white sign reading "The Chinese Noodle Restaurant." It doesn't look like anything special, but it most definitely is.

Entering the restaurant, you first pass the main kitchen which is, in fact, outside. To the left are pots of boiling water and a glass case which features some of the signature dishes. To the right is a metal butchers table used for rolling out several varieties of noodles by hand; during the lunch and dinner hours, one of the employees is usually tossing the dough into the air, kneading it, and stretching it out, certainly in and of itself worthy of a trip. Inside the restaurant are a dozen metal folding tables, each of which has four pink plastic lawn chairs around it. To the back of the restaurant is a sort of bar and refrigeration unit as well as a wall-mounted television which usually plays Chinese-language kung fu movies, the news, or more recently, the Olympics.

The clientele at the Chinese Noodle Shop is quite diverse. It is certainly a popular spot with westerners (as many NGOs are close by), but there is always a mix of Cambodians and Chinese and often with an odd and seemingly out-of-place sprinkling of Mormons. The staff is all Cambodian, save the "manager" who is Chinese. We have never seen her smile, but she is courteous and direct when handling the bill. We're not sure that she speaks any Khmer, so upon leaving, we are sure to utter "shay shay" (thank you in Chinese) instead of "aw koon."

As soon as you are seated at one of the extremely ordinary tables, you are brought mugs of Chinese tea. On each table is the menu, under a layer of clear plastic, napkins, bottles of fish, soy, and chili sauce, sugar, a mixture of soy sauce and chilies, and toothpicks. As one might expect of a noodle shop, noodle dishes feature prominently on the menu, but there are also dumplings and veggie and tofu dishes.

I was lucky enough to be brought to the Chinese Noodle Restaurant shortly after arriving in Cambodia. As suggested by my host, I ordered the boiled dumplings and created a concoction of soy sauce and the soy/chili mixture. A few minutes later a plate of a dozen steaming dumplings arrived. Though fresh out of a pot of boiling hot of water, I dug in and certainly did not regret it. The dumplings were probably the best I've ever tasted, though to this day I'm not entirely sure what they're filled with; I think pork and chives.

The first several times that I went with Shanti and others, we ordered only dumplings, sometimes getting boiled, sometimes getting fried and sometimes getting both. It was not until a few months after we began to frequent the noodle shop that we expanded our repertoire. At first we expanded to a fried noodles with beef dish - phenomenal - which is a mix of the fresh noodles, egg, onions and carrots. Eventually, we added the fried green beans with garlic and mushrooms. Now I'm not one to get excited about vegetables, especially cooked ones, but these green beans, just drenched in garlic, are the best cooked vegetable I've ever had and are quite possibly, my favorite dish. We have tried a number of other dishes, including some of the other veggie dishes and some of the tofu dishes, but I think we're pretty happy with the combination of dumplings, fried noodles with beef, and green beans.

It's quite difficult to describe how good the noodles, dumplings, and green beans actually are, but if the number of trips made to the noodle shop by people visiting Phnom Penh is any indication, well, they're pretty damn good. In just four days in Phnom Penh, my parents and sister went three times. In about two weeks in town, Justin and Ashley went about a half dozen times. Shanti and I usually go at least once a week.

Wouldn't going out so often get expensive, you may ask? Ah, now that's where the true beauty of the Chinese Noodle Restaurant takes effect. A dozen dumplings: $1.20 (formerly $1); fried noodles with beef: $1.70; the green beans: $1.50. Thus, a typical lunch costs roughly two dollars a person, a price as easy to swallow as any of the restaurant's specialties. When I return to the US, the Chinese Noodle Restaurant and the tradition of going weekly, will be one of the things I miss most.